i'd like to share a poem of hafiz

WOW

Where does the real poetry
come from?

From the amorous sighs
In this moist dark when making love
With form or
Spirit.

Where does poetry live?

In the eye that says, "Wow wee,"
In the overpowering felt splendor
Every sane mind knows
When it realizes---our life dance
Is only for a few magic
Seconds,

From the heart saying,
Shouting,

"I am so damn
Alive."

this beautiful day

I used to feel like, when I prayed, that like maybe God wouldn't meet me. I used to feel like, did God "show up" or not. That mind set is so far from me now. Today I walked up Bernal hill, this hill that when you get to the top you can see all of San Fransisco, out to the bay...I looked and far out I saw a forest atop this giant hill, I saw the bay, I saw so many houses filled with so many lives, so many skyscrapers, filled with the corporate world, I saw the grass and these lush leaves growing from the ground, the wind caressed my bare skin, the sun kissed my back. Everywhere I looked...the people that walked by me, the yellow twinge in part of the leaves of a tree that's turning, the magnificent bursts of purple in the flowers of a nearby tree, an energetic dog running by...It's like now...God is so all around me, that sometimes I think I will just get lost in ecstasy, and possibly explode. It's like...somehow, and i think this happens by his grace, but somehow God's like stretched open wide this slit in the canvas of "reality" and let me climb through. Now I see the wonder of everything, and I'm sure I'm still missing so much. Everywhere I look I feel God, saying something to me. He's saying "love," in a million different forms. When I see a flower, it says to me it is His love in the form of beauty made for me to delight in in this very moment, when I eat an apple God says, "i love you, this was made for you," when I see someone sad, i hear God saying to love them, when a friend needs my ear, i hear God saying to me,  saying how much he loves me because he's chosen me to be the one who has the privilege to listen to one of his dear ones, inviting me to love them like he does...to be him right there. (i don't want to offend anybody here, you are always welcome to substitute whatever gender you like when I'm talking about our Friend, I'm sure the one who is Spirit wouldn't mind a bit) It's like I cannot help but see God everywhere now. I want eyes that i may see, ears that i may hear, and a heart that understands. i want to live in this great love that whispers invitations to me through every movement of my world. I feel like I've realized that here and now, in this world, we are 100% living a reality with God, whether we realize it or not. We are speaking to Him through our lives, He is speaking to us through everything...If you ask I'm sure He'll let you hear it...what you may ask? the music, of course. otherwise you may get caught up, and forget that this is a party.

Can I be vunerable?

Can I be vulnerable with you?
I write because I cannot but write. Everything tells me that I must share what Wisdom is teaching me, every day in every dimension, every part of my being. It's like God, and I will call him God because that's who I believe I'm talking about...disregard all your prejudices about him for a moment. don't you think in your heart prejudice should end anyways...like every time you look at another human being, can you naught but see your maker's face. Maybe you don't, maybe when you see women they remind you of your bitter controlling mom, maybe you don't, maybe, when you look at a man you see your father who left you...and thats hard. forgiveness is the key that will free you from the past. but when love gets ahold of you. and you get drunk on the One. you begin to see.

do you want to see?

when God gets ahold of you. he inundates your being so that you cannot help but for lack of a better word, ooze love. i just wanna ooze love to everyone and everything. i cant help it.  Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. anyone who loves...anyone...

       my heart longs to love. to love in a way that cant be offended. to love in a way that doesn't judge or takes itself back when one is offended. i have no idea what it's supposed to look like but i know that true life comes no other way. to live in Love and Love in you. this is the essence of the Gospel, it is the reason for our existence. for us to be consumed by love and by that become a part of Love. i believe we all came from God who is love, and well all go back to Him in the end. there is very little talking about this any more. we went to church as kids but our father did not tell us the account of the Great Spirit and his relationship with Him in all his battles and triumphs.

I don't even know where i'm going with all this i just like to ramble being the crazy drunk one that i am.
I'm so drunk on God's love I can't see straight.

T was also thinking about how our entire economy is an example of how faith determines reality. Faith can not only move mountains, it can do just about anything. it can do almost as much as love. and together i believe they might be unstoppable.

where am i going with this? i'm not quite sure. but it has to do with the goodness of God. and believing for the outer limits of His grace. his goodness. and the richness of his being, from which we were made to feed on day after day.

close your eyes and think like the sunset. and how it goes to the outer reaches of the heavens and still there is more beyond. in how many dimensions is the sunset stretched? we have no idea what the answer is, i assure you. and then, it goes beyond that. to solar systems and literal galaxies that exist but we have never even seen. Ok so then think about you and how maybe God had such goodness for your life...and not even for just your life here, or just your physical being, but also your spiritual being that will live forever...that everything, everything he is using for your good, that he 100% loves you 100% of the time no matter what you do or what you've done...that he's 100% there for you all the time and he's never let you fall too far. I dunno. I think what I'm suggesting. and for the sake of speaking to everybody ill come out and say it, even though i may be more cryptic from now on, this spelling it out is work...but im just suggesting that life is good, that you are good, that God is good, that our destiny is love, that we are all ok, that everything is rich when you know God...i dont know, i guess somethings aren't fully explainable. but anyways, were all invited. were all meant to be God's spoiled rotten kids. =)

some poems from me with love

Sometimes…

Sometimes i get a glimpse,

like a mirror from another realm catches my eye

and i remember

as light gleams out 

igniting the spot in my eye

that sparkles when love comes near,

that i should promise my heart again

promise my heart

not to miss life

when its passing right before me

ripe for the eating

and slurping of its juiciness

off our delicious fingers

____________________________

One with Him

He's wanting you

to become 

one with Him

which of course

is a surrender 

like i surrendered last night 

when i let my lover

kiss me silly

some poems of Hafiz for you

Hafiz is a poet from the 1300's in persia...he is my favorite poet I have ever happened upon and i delight to share these words that unlock the door to the unseen for you and for me =) blessings to all- Lau


The Theater of Freedom

In my divine studio
What i have been working on is this:

Painting the Truth,
Revealing
A more realistic picture of God,

Tearing down the cruel walls
That separate you from the tenderness of Fire.

Someone must be withholding
The crucial lines
In all those stories you have heard of our
Friend,

For there is still too much fear
And pallor upon your cheeks,

And I rarely see you
In the marvelous Theater of Freedom.

Hafiz knows
You could not describe him

Even if we sat side by side on a caravan
For years,

Even if we slept close in my desert tent
And you became familiar

With the holy scent
That the sun and my Master leave,
Whenever they visit me,

For something has happened
To your youthful passions,

That great fuel
You once had to defend yourself
Against becoming tamed.

And your eyes now often tell me
That your once vital talent to extract joy
From the air
Has fallen into a sleep.

All that you could ever say of me
Can only describe my camel's tail--

And that coarse hair
That is barely visible sometimes
On the left side of the moon's nose.

In my divine studio
Where I am sitting right now
Crafting your heart, lyre
and flute,

I long for the day when you will join me
In knowing

The extraordinary humor
And all the enchanting realities

Of the infinite performances
Of
God.

________

In A Tree House

Light
Will someday split you open
Even if your life is now a cage,

For a divine seed, the crown of destiny,
Is hidden and sown on an ancient, fertile plain
You hold the title to.

Love will surely bust you wide open
Into an unfettered, blooming new galaxy

Even if your mind is now
A spoiled mule.

A life-giving radiance will come,
The Friend's gratuity will come--

O look again within yourself,
For I know you were once the elegant host
To all the marvels in creation.

From a sacred crevice in your body
A bow rises each night
And shoots your soul into God.

Behold the Beautiful Drunk Singing One
From the lunar vantage point of love.

He is conducting the affairs
Of the whole universe

While throwing wild parties
In a tree house----on a limb
In your heart.

kisses from God are coming to you

so many people ask me, am i religious. and i try to answer them but its like, how do i even begin to tell you of the limits my heart has known in God. religion has nothing to do with it. its a relationship, its a spiritual communion, God's my dearest friend, my breath, my life, my joy, my comfort... it's like this crazy ecstasy of being thats taking me over. its like Christ in me, or my Buddah nature, or my truest form of being, or whatever it is...me, inside God himself is the thing that's taking me over. It feels like love and peace and joy and the drunkeness of wine. right now poems are doing something splendid and divine in my heart. God's speaking to me and what i'm hearing is transforming my heart and my being...

May you let God kiss you today...

Jesus said, 

drink my wine

you will become me 

i will become you

and all that is hidden

you will see

with your own eyes

              the gospel of Thomas

the sky's sheets

When He touches me I clutch the sky's sheets

the way other

lovers

do

the earth's weave 

of clay.

Any real ecstasy is a sign

you are moving

in the right 

direction, 

don't let any prude tell

you otherwise.

      ---St. Theresa de Avila 

School of Truth

O fool, do something, so you won't just stand there looking dumb.

If you are not traveling and on the road, how can you call yourself a guide?

In the School of Truth, one sits at the feet of the Master of Love.

So listen, son, so that one day you may be an old father, too!

All this eating and sleeping has made you ignorant and fat;

By denying yourself food and sleep, you may still have a chance.

Know this: If God should shine His lovelight on your heart,

I promise you'll shine brighter than a dozen suns.

And I say: wash the tarnished copper of your life from your hands;

To be Love's alchemist, you should be working with gold.

Don't sit there thinking; go out and immerse yourself in God's sea.

Having only one hair wet with water will not put knowledge in that head.

For those who see only God, their vision

Is pure, and not a doubt remains.

Even if our world is turned upside down and blown over by the wind,

If you are doubtless, you won't lose a thing.

O Hafiz, if it is union with the Beloved that you seek,

Be the dust at the Wise One's door, and speak!

                                            --Hafiz

___________________

If you stop for but a moment

still your heart

and open wide your Spirit

afraid as you may be

the Spirit would 

most certainly begin 

to consume you

to take your hurts and your fears

to whisper peace to your weary soul

to kiss you a million times

with tender loving kindness

you'd laugh and squeal

like a baby 

delighted by the caresses of 

his mother

you were made for this

                                --Lauren

Love has taken my practices and turned them to poetry

Thank you for singing

thank you for singing

i feel like God would tell you that

as you unload your groceries

and the kids run off to play

_________

I want someone who 

even and especially 

looking into their eyes

enlivens my soul

I want someone

that will dream

about pushing the limits

of love and ecstasy

with me 

in this life

in a million different ways

expressing the divine

to one another

and a hungry world

_____

God has taken me and brought me into an entirely new realm of existence.

It is in my heart, and in the invisible places that i exist

There is truly no limit to the depths our soul can touch

of beauty, of sorrow, of love

i cannot sit still

often i feel as though i will explode from the inside

oh consume me Sacred Fire 

It happens all the time in heaven

It happens all the time in heaven,
And some day

It will begin to happen
Again on earth-

That men and women who are married
And men and men who are
Lovers,

And women and women
Who give each other Light,

Often will get down on their knees

And while so tenderly
Holding their lover's hand,

With tears in their eyes,
Will sincerely speak, saying,

"My dear,
How can I be more loving to you;

How can I be more
Kind?"

This is one of the poems of Hafiz, a great Persian poet who is changing my life by his ancient words...

Today I was at hair school, and I was talking to a Chinese friend of mine. She was telling me all about her marriage, all about marriage... And she told me that at first love is very nice but then after 7 or 8 years it just gets so hard, when you're married.... She said that I should be careful because if you find a nice guy and there is deep love then that's good. But if there is not a deep love, she says, you just end up hurting each other very much and life is then better lived single, because you can be happy single. Telling me of the past problems of her marriage she told me that she had wanted a divorce for years, even though they have four children, until her husband finally came to her and begged a second chance. And now he cares about how his actions effect her. And now he is kinder....

I couldn't help but ask myself, what if people just lived to be kind to eachother....how does such a lack of love come into a relationship that is supposed to be the person you have found to love more than all others...

We were never meant to be so poor in love. There is a Well, an endless Source...who wants to engage your heart, who yearns for you to draw of his rich resources.

I wonder how I can be more kind to the people in my life. To strangers. To those who are unkind to me. To myself. I think that the nature of heaven is waiting there for us all to enter in. It is the way of Love and it is not necessarily easy. Your pride may have to die. Other things that you value may even have to go by the way side. It just might cost you.

But i just wonder if we have any idea what we are missing out on by living in any other state than Love, by walking in any other way than the way of Love...

begginings

So I go to a used book store one day hoping to find my next good read and I ask God to show me which books to read. So i stumble upon this book called "all about love; new visions" and another called something like "the road less traveled." so obviously those were the ones. So a few weeks later I'm in  Dolores park, lounging around on a wendsday afternoon reading "all about love," and i get so inspired i decide that i have to go home and write a blog. right now. so i pack up my things and as i do the book kinda falls open to the inside where the title is printed again, and I read a note written, "Lauren!! to love that can inspire your writing." and then its signed by the author...
um what?
so i go home and a few weeks later when i finally got around to posting it, here it is.
I plan to include thoughts, stories, revelations, and probably many excerpts that have propelled me into heart revelations or something of the like.  For now i leave you with a blessing;

may Love surround you in every way, may it penetrate every part of your being and guide your every step, may you become unmistakably aware of Its presence and may it elevate your spirit to joy and laughter